Almost nothing has to be decided tonight. This is what has to happen, in what order, and what it costs — written for people who have never done any of it before.
Almost nothing has to be decided in the first twenty-four hours. A death has to be verified
by a medical professional, and the person who has died has to be taken somewhere — usually
by a funeral director, sometimes by the hospital. That is the whole of the urgent list.
Registering, choosing a funeral, telling banks and the council, deciding what to do with the
ashes: all of it can wait days, and most of it can wait weeks. If somebody is pressing you
to sign something today, you are allowed to say no.
The pages here are in the order things actually happen. Read the first one and stop.
Money, honestly
What a funeral actually costs
Direct cremation
£1,200 – £2,000
No service, no mourners, ashes returned afterwards
The least expensive lawful funeral in the UK. Increasingly chosen deliberately rather than only for cost — many families hold their own gathering later, on their own terms.
Attended cremation
£3,500 – £5,000
Including the crematorium fee and the funeral director
A conventional funeral with a service. The largest single variable is the funeral director's own fee, which is why comparing two or three is worth an hour of anybody's time.
Burial
£5,000 – £6,500
Before a headstone, which usually comes months later
Almost always the most expensive option and the one that varies most by area — the grave alone can cost more in one borough than an entire cremation in another.
These are typical UK ranges from the annual cost-of-dying surveys, not quotes. What you pay depends far more on burial-or-cremation and on where you live than on anything a funeral director sells you. The full breakdown
explains which parts you can change and which you cannot.
A death at home is not handled the same way as a death in hospital, and an expected death is
not handled the same way as a sudden one. The guide sets out each case separately, so you
are not reading four sets of instructions to find the one that applies to you.
It then follows the paperwork through: the medical examiner, the registrar, the five-day
deadline, the certificates you will be asked for over and over again for months, and Tell Us
Once — the government service that saves people the most time and that the fewest people
have heard of.
Funeral prices stopped being a mystery in 2021, when every funeral director in the UK became
legally required to publish a standardised price list in the same format, so that two firms
can be compared line by line. Most people never look, and most funeral directors are quietly
relieved about that.
We set out what each element costs, which parts are third-party fees that no funeral director
can reduce, and what state help exists — the Funeral Expenses Payment, Scotland’s Funeral
Support Payment, the Children’s Funeral Fund, Bereavement Support Payment, and what happens
when there is genuinely no money at all.
The tidy five stages you have heard of were written about people who were dying, not people
who are bereaved, and grief does not proceed in order for anybody. What it actually does is
arrive in waves, interfere with sleep and memory, and last a good deal longer than the people
around you will expect.
There are pages here on what the first year is like, on how to be useful to somebody who is
grieving, on children — who grieve in short bursts and then go back to playing — and a full
list of the free helplines, including the ones for particular kinds of loss.
No funeral plans, no insurance, no affiliate links, no paid listings, no directory. Where a page names a company or a charity it is because it is relevant, not because anybody paid.
Four nations, four sets of rules
England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland differ on registration deadlines, on probate and on state help. Where they differ we say so on the page, rather than quietly describing England.
Written to be read on a bad day
Short sentences, no euphemisms, no pop-ups, no cookie banner and no tracking of any kind. The pages work on a phone, in the dark, at four in the morning.
What is on this site
The guide is in three parts, in the order things happen.
What happens when someone dies— the first hours and
days, set out separately for a death at home, in hospital, in a care home, in a hospice and
abroad, plus what a coroner’s involvement changes.
Arranging a funeral— registering the death, Tell Us Once,
burial or cremation, choosing and instructing a funeral director, planning the service, what
to do with the ashes, probate, and the months of paperwork that follow.
Living with loss— what grief does, what the first year is like, supporting
somebody else, children and grief, and where to get help
: every
free national helpline in one place, including the ones for particular kinds of bereavement.
There is also what it costs, which is the page most people arrive
looking for, and in Wales, because Wales differs from England on several
points that matter and is usually written about as though it does not.
A note on what this site used to be
This domain belonged to a family funeral home in Pontypridd that is no longer trading. The
old addresses still work. The pages on coffins
, urns and scatter
tubes
, hearses
, pricing
and what happens when
someone dies
are exactly where they were — they explain
the choices involved now, instead of listing one firm’s stock. Nothing that was published
here has been deleted and left as a dead link.
You do not have to work this out in one sitting
Very little has to be done on the first day, and almost nothing has to be decided tonight. Start with the step-by-step guide, and if you need a person rather than a page, the helplines are free and answered by people who do this every day.
What actually has to be done in the first 24 hours?
Very little. A doctor or paramedic has to verify the death, and the person who has died needs to be taken into someone’s care — a funeral director’s, or the hospital mortuary. Nothing else is urgent. You usually cannot register the death for a day or two anyway, and no funeral decision has to be made in the first week. The full sequence is on the what happens when someone dies
page.
How long do I have to register a death?
Five days in England, Wales and Northern Ireland; eight days in Scotland. The clock effectively pauses if a coroner or procurator fiscal is involved, and in England and Wales the paperwork now passes through an NHS medical examiner first, which can add a little time. Nobody is penalised for a delay that is not their doing. See registering a death
.
Do I have to use a funeral director?
No. No law in the UK requires one, and some families arrange everything themselves. In practice most people use one, because the paperwork, the transport and the timing with the crematorium are genuinely awkward to manage alone in the state you are likely to be in. What a funeral director does, and what you can decline, is set out in arranging a funeral
.
What if there is no money for a funeral?
There are several routes and none of them is well known: the Funeral Expenses Payment in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, the Funeral Support Payment in Scotland, the Children’s Funeral Fund where the person who died was under 18, and — where there is genuinely nobody able to pay — a public health funeral arranged by the council, which is a legal duty and not a disgrace. See help with funeral costs
.
Is this site run by a funeral director?
No. It sells nothing, takes no commission and carries no advertising. It is an editorial guide to UK law and practice, and it says plainly that it is general information rather than legal, medical or financial advice. More on about this guide
.
How long does grief last?
Much longer than most people expect, and it does not end so much as change shape. There is no schedule and nothing to be behind on. Where grief stays severe and disabling well past the first year, that is now a recognised condition — prolonged grief disorder — and it responds to treatment, which is a reason to talk to a GP rather than a reason to worry. See what grief actually feels like
.
